Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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