Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I can't turn off my feet"
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
