I got chris browned last night
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
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