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• (517): View more from Michigan

  I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song

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• (410): View more from Maryland

  Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!

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• (952): View more from Minnesota

  i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.

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  Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?

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• (678): View more from Georgia

  Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.

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• (716): View more from New York

  Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.

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• (201): View more from New Jersey

  we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden

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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me

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• (941): View more from Florida

  She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"

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  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

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• (704): View more from North Carolina

  I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."

  (1-704): View more from North Carolina

  was his pinky out?

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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.

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• (319): View more from Iowa

  My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.

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• (270): View more from Kentucky

  If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.

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• (307): View more from Wyoming

  Why are you naked at 4pm?

  (1-307): View more from Wyoming

  Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes

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