i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out