Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?