i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
