Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.