I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
