i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.