Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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