I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
