Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize