dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
