And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
