WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize