Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
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I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
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On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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