Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
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