i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
