I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
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