I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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