If that was your dad, he is hot
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
