Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
