Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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