I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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