sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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