i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
whose parrot is this?
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
