Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Randomize
