I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Im part way to drunk.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
