I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
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