After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize