this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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