He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
