i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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