Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
nutella sex= disaster
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
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