i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Less talking, more tequila
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
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Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
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A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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