So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Randomize
