we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
