I saw his package. It spoke to me.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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