while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
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