hell yes lets make some ravioli
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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