he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
