i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
