I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
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