Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Randomize
