im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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