Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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