I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
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