5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Randomize
