He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
i will never coherently bang her
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
