That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
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i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
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He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
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