If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
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