if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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