After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize