remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
