Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
