i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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