so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
It's no shave November. This is our time.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
