I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
