kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize