And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Still dying that you shit outside
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Randomize
